


Low Light

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Marauders' Era, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-28
Updated: 2008-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-19 23:50:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12420750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Sirius and James finally consummate their lust, but it's not what Sirius expects.





	Low Light

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

Oh and I know my doe is a little bit psycho.  
She wears her head inside out.  
And my doe, she looks alright though  
With the lights low  
With the lights low  
\-- The Matches, _Didi (My Doe, Part 2)_

 

 

 

 

Sirius wasn't exactly sure what to say. He was drunk, that was for sure. He was also pretty high. He liked getting cross-faded usually, but there was something wrong this time. It wasn't _wrong_ per se, just different. He wondered if the weed had been laced with anything. His usual dealer had been indisposed, so he'd been forced to purchase some from a rather wet-looking Ravenclaw with enormous coke bottle glasses.

And of course the stupid git had probably done some experimenting, after all, he's a Ravenclaw. And Ravenclaws are notorious for having wonderful theoretical ideas that do not necessarily translate effectively in reality. And this was a fantastic example of that.

“What the fuck is wrong with this pot?” James slurred from the corner, brushing his hair back, looking indignant. Sirius felt a stab of lust run through him, which he quickly suppressed by thinking of his mother's enormous brassiere, which had once used as a sling shot to fling rotten plums at his cousin Narcissa.

“I don't know,” Sirius answered honestly, looking at the blunt with enormous suspicion. Remus sighed and reached over, grabbing the bag from the middle of the circle. He sniffed the left over buds with a twitch of his nose. Again, Sirius' groin stirred.

“Laced with...” Remus paused, before letting a frown settle on his delicate features. “Fuck if I know. Never smelled it before. But definitely laced.” He dropped the bag back on the ground. “Well, I'm going to bed to sleep this off.” Sirius was mildly disappointed to watch Remus lope off toward the castle with his usual long-limbed stride. He knew that when the pot wore off, Remus would climb into Sirius' bed and probably instigate something a little naughty that would leave them both exhausted...

He squirmed, crossing his legs so that James wouldn't see. There were few things that he wasn't comfortable sharing with James, and his _thing_ with Remus was one of them. James was too far gone to notice anything anyway, he hoped. God he was horny. A side effect of the marijuana? He thought so, but couldn't be sure.

James noticed him twitching. “What's up, mate?”

“Nothing,” Sirius replied a little sourly, tightening his legs against his crotch. But the slight friction just made him  harder.

“No, really. I'm not that stoned. You can tell me.” James crossed his legs and looked at Sirius with a serious expression that was rarely seen on the Gryffindor's face. Sirius knew that he could tell James, yet he was still mildly reluctant to mention it.

“Well...”

“Oh just spit it out already, you great git,” James said, wiping his bangs off his forehead and rolling his eyes. “You're such a bint when you're high.”

“Am not,” Sirius replied, too high to be indignant. “Well, I'm just incredibly horny. Can't decide why. I mean, when I'm drunk or high my libido is usually rather depressed...”

“Libido?” James snorted. “Where the fuck did you learn that word?”

“Remus,” Sirius replies mildly, hoping that James would not inquire about the context in which Sirius learned what 'libido' meant. It had involved Remus' cock and multiple orgasms in one night. The other word he had learned that night was 'insatiable.' Now he liked to refer to Remus as a “libidinous, insatiable, wolf” just so he could use the big words.

James snorted again and made an amused face. “Remus knows too many words for his own good. That is a completely useless word.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “And what would you replace it with, oh master of the English language?”

“Sex drive.” James winked sleazily and then started started singing Whitesnakes' “The Deeper the Love.” Sirius wished very suddenly that Lily had never introduced her boyfriend to the concept of Muggle rock music. Although, he was rather partial to Queen and David Bowie himself. “Aaaaand the deeper the loooove, the stronger the emmmmmotion-”

“James, cork it.”

“Aaaaand the deeper the loooove, the stronger the devooootion-”

“James!”

“Alright, alright,” James sighed huffily, playing with his fringe now. “I was bored with it anyway.” Sirius doubted that. He supposed that James would have kept singing until the sun came up, or he passed out. The latter was probably more likely, considering the amounts of fire whisky they had consumed.

“What were we talking about?”

“Your incredible horniness,” James supplied helpfully, having finished his mini-sulk. “And what we are going to do about it.”

Had James just said _we_? Surely not. Sirius snorted, aware that if he kept his snorting streak up he just might begin to resemble a pig.

Sirius scooted closer to James in spite of himself. “Somehow I find that unlikely.”

“Wait, we're both horny here, it's a genuine problem!” James protested. “We need to do something about it.” Of course, James' dick was of utmost importance, as usual.

“Yes, a genuine problem, indeed.” Sirius narrowed his eyes to look at James. “You aren't...”

James prattled on. “I think that perhaps we should wank a bit, I mean, if you're uncomfortable doing it in front of me, I understand, I suppose-”

“Wait, what did you just say?”

James wasn't very patience. “God, listen next time. I've not got the attention span to repeat myself. What did I say?”

Sirius didn't have to search his brain very much to supply an answer. “Summat 'bout wankin'.” He was painfully aware that their usual roles were reversed: usually it was Sirius pratting on and on about sex, whilst James, the eternal virgin, flushed and tried to change the topic because it was clear he was thinking about Lily's red-clad naughty bits.

“Oh yes. I was saying we should wank. Now.”

“Now?” Sirius repeated, not quite sure if this was a hallucination. He'd never hallucinated whilst high on pot before. It was highly unsettling.

James nodded frantically. He was clearly a bit jumpy now, and his movements were slightly erratic. Sirius looked down at his crotch, which clearly agreed with James' idea very much. “If you don't wan to--”

“No...” Sirius interrupted. “I'm... okay with it.” He hesitantly motioned to his pants, and James nodded. “I should just... drop trou?” They were behind the Quidditch stands, and it was the middle of the night, way after curfew, it wasn't as if they were going to be interrupted by anything besides strange animals.

He was suddenly very glad that Peter had been blamed for their exploding cauldron prank earlier in the week and was currently in detention. Initially he'd felt guilty that Peter had gotten the brunt of the punishment when it was clear that Pettigrew wasn't smart enough to come up with such a _brilliant_ idea on his own. But, of course, the twit had dropped the copy of the Restricted Section book they had used to perform the prank right in front of Snivellus, who had immediately reported it to Slughorn. Who, of course, was forced to punish Peter.

Sirius' hands shook as he undid the top button of his jeans. He watched James' hands move down to his corderoys and he wondered if this was a terrible idea. But even though he had vague thoughts of running for the hills as he began to unzip himself, the sight of James' exposed flesh was enough for him to reach into his underwear and pull out his cock.

James' eyes bulged slightly at the sight of Sirius' dick, and for a second Sirius considered stuffing it back in and running back up to his bed, which Remus was probably already warming. Remus fucking _loved_ him, James couldn't care less about him like that. Hell, Sirius _loved_ Remus, and adored his beautiful body, but James... James was something different, something he'd never seen before.

James finally pulled himself out of his briefs and Sirius tried not to stare. But it was hard, especially since it wasn't exactly as big as he remembered it. Of course he wasn't a size queen or anything, but for some reason his best friend's dick was ingrained in his mind as this monstrous dick of death, when in fact it was quite ordinary size. It was prettier than his own, perhaps not as pretty as Remus',  but Sirius was willing to admit that he was rather enamoured of Remus' and thus rather biased.

He spat into his hand and began to rub his length, hardening even further in his hand as he watched James mirror his actions. Why hadn't they done this before? He seemed to remember his distant cousin Lucius mentioning jack-off competitions he'd participated in during his years at Hogwarts. For some reasons he'd been paired with a bunch of prudish Gryffindors who didn't seem to get around to circle masturbation until their final year. And this couldn't really count as a circle, because there were only two of them, which made it rather, well... _gay_.

And it wasn't that Sirius had anything against _gay_ things; in fact, he participated in quite a few of them with Remus. It was just that it seemed odd to him that he was with James, practically naked and they weren't even touching. Just aroused with the sight of the other.

Suddenly Sirius realised that it was his last year and that James would probably marry Lily, and he would probably settle down with Remus and this would never happen again. He didn't want to be nostalgic for something that had barely started, but this was the opportunity of a lifetime. Not to mention, the challenge of the century. And Sirius was not adverse to challenges. In fact, as his friends and enemies would attest, he welcomed them.

He reached out before he could stop himself and cupped the back of James' neck. He pulled the other boy to him hastily and pressed his lips against his.

There was utter silence for a moment, as if even the crickets realised that this was a bloody horrible idea. And finally, it seemed like forever, James' lips moved against his own and then they were _kissing_ and it was strange and wonderful at the same time. James pressed against him, hands shaky but not unsure. Sirius felt like his bones were disintegrating, and let James push him down onto the grass.

He struggled with his shirt and finally managed to hoist it off while James fiddled with his pants. He shimmied out of them and then watched as James stripped down as well. Now they were both naked under the shadow of the Quidditch stands, watching each other with red eyes, chests rising and falling in tandem.

James took the first move, pinning Sirius down into the moist grass, straddling him with a surety that both frightened and comforted Sirius. His hands were roaming all over, thighs, knees, knobby elbows, between his legs to that spot between his cock and asshole that made him hiss with pleasure and draw his knees up. James looked at him, his mouth set.

James put a finger in his mouth very deliberately, wetting it with a determination that made a chill run down Sirius' spine.

“Yes? No?”

“Yes,” Sirius panted. James slid that slick finger into him and he wanted nothing more to writhe under his hand. James put his other palm on the flat plane of his stomache to keep him from arching up. A wand was grabbed. A spell whispered. His ass suddenly felt slick and Sirius remembered suddenly that Remus had used that spell last time. And he was suddenly feeling very horrible. Although he'd never really outlined what their relationship was, Sirius was sure that Remus wanted monogamy, and this was wrong, because he didn't love James _like that_ , the way he loved Remus, it was merely desire and lust and long pent up want. But then James touched that spot inside him and he didn't care about Remus for a moment, all he wanted was that spike of pleasure.

James slid another finger in, cool and burning. And Sirius twitched and moaned louder than he intended. Their eyes locked and he wondered if James could see the myriad of emotions that flit across his face. The sudden regret, the lust, the confusion... Everything that he felt, he couldn't help but show. James leaned over suddenly and kissed him on the lips, fully, sweetly, and slipped in another finger. Sirius moaned as James scissored his fingers and stroked that spot deep in him, and couldn't help but make a face when James finally withdrew his fingers.

Sirius hadn't time to wonder where his friend had learned to do these things before something else was pressing at his entrance, wanting access. He held his breath as James began to press against him. And then there was pain, as there always was, followed by a sweet filling. James paused, letting Sirius' body accommodate him. Sirius squirmed slightly, panting. The burning feeling was acute, and he wondered if he were going to rip slightly. Remus was always so gentle, patient, this felt rough in comparison.

James thrust suddenly and everything went silent in Sirius' head. It was as if everything stopped except for the throbbing length within him and the pain that ripped through him.

“Fuck!” He bit his lower lip until it bled, and he could feel the blood trail down his chin. James leaned over him and licked it up.

“Sorry,” he whispered, moving slightly. Each movement sent a flash of pain through him, and he closed his eyes and desperately thought of Remus. Why the fuck was he doing this? This was stupid. Stupid. The pain was worse than the pleasure. And it didn't seem to be abating.

“Ready?” When he didn't reply, James took his silence as an acquiesce. He began to move again, sending ripples, no waves, of pain over Sirius, who screwed his courage to the sticking point and tried not to cry. Fuck, it hurt. James grunted, pumping now. Sirius tried to relax and just take it, let his body flow with the movements, but something in him kept tensing up with each stroke. James reached down and grabbed Sirius' dick and tried to jack him, but it was only a slight distraction from the excruciating pain radiating throughout his belly and lower back. James eventually gave up when it became clear that Sirius was completely soft.

It seemed like it had gone on forever, when James suddenly shuddered, and shouted “Sirius!” into the clear night sky before collapsing on top of his best friend. Glad for the respite, Sirius said nothing and just stared at the sky, wondering how he'd tell Remus what he'd done.

\---

He stood under the shower, head resting against the tiles. There was blood on his legs, and he wanted to wash away the evidence of everything, but his arms were too tired. He felt old, older than the hills. He wanted to drown in the red-tinged water. He wanted to forget.

“Sirius?” James stood in the dorm bathroom, watching his best friend. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Sirius replied, waving him off with a dull look in his eyes. “Go to bed. I'll be done soon.”

James walked out, feet padding against the floor. Had he even noticed the blood? Perhaps, perhaps not. Sirius wondered if he could ever forgive himself.

He didn't know how long he'd been standing in the water, watching the water-blood stream down between his thighs when he heard footsteps again in the bathroom.

“Sirius?”

He spun around, pressing his ass against the wall. Remus, oh god, Remus, don't ask... Please...

“What happened?” His beautiful face was horrified, absolutely frozen. God.

Sirius tried to answer, but couldn't, his voice frozen in his throat. Remus stepped into the shower, pyjamas still on and pressed his forehead against Sirius'. Sirius sagged into him, letting his body release some of the stiffness it had acquired.

“I-I...”

“Tell me who did it. I'll kill them,” Remus whispered, his voice laced with fury. “I'll kill them for hurting you.”

Sirius couldn't speak. How could he tell him? _I cheated on you. It was consensual. It hurt._ The physical pain was ebbing, only slightly, but it would go away. It was the burning beneath his heart that hurt more.

And he couldn't blame it on the pot. Sure, there had been something in the weed that had probably lowered his inhibitions marginally, but the original lust had been there. The desire had been there. There was nothing that he could say.

Instead he choked and couldn't tell whether he was crying or if it was the water from the still running shower, and he wanted to weep and weep and he buried his face in the crook of Remus' shoulder and never wanted to leave.

_Fin._

 

 

Author's Note: This is cross posted to my [Insanejournal](http://juliandarling.insanejournal.com/2602.html).


End file.
